We’ve thought for a while that Charlie Sheen should get some sort of gold medal for his staggering achievement in celebrity meltdowns; we just didn’t expect him to clean up inevery event at the Trainwreck Olympics. Scoring a 9.2 out of 10 on the TMI scale, one of Charlie’s porn star friends Kacey Jordan suggests she may have aborted Charlie Sheen’s fetus in an interview with RadarOnline. “I had the abortion last Thursday, I went home to Oregon to have it because that is where I grew up. I was sick and on the couch all day. I think it might have been too soon to be Charlie’s baby, but you never know. I get pregnant very easily,” Jordan explained. “A week earlier I had been with another celebrity, so it could of been his, but I can’t talk about him because I had to sign a release.” Yup, talking about your celebrity abortion to the press earns you five points for technical skill, and one infinite face-palm. That’s at least going to win you the bronze, Kacey.
We were assuming that Sheen’s plan to move his ex-wives next door wasn’t going to pan out anyway, but after this announcement, and the fact that Sheen’s semi-retired from the porn star circuit now, Charlie can focus on the new loves in his life. “I’m married…to baseball,” Sheen told TMZ after Sheen invited major league baseball players to a party at his house Friday. Brian Wilson, Kenny Lofton, Todd Zeile, Eddie Murray, and Lenny Dykstra joined Charlie at his mansion to watch his film Major League. We understand why Sheen would hang out with baseball players; once a man achieves fame in one arena, he sets his sights on another. Like when Michael Jordan played baseball after retiring from the Bulls, except Michael Jordan never made anyone want to cover their kids’ eyes and scream when he was on TV.
[Photo: Getty Images]
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