We Present Mr. And Mrs. Brand

Well, it finally happened. Katy Perry and Russell Brand were officially wed this Saturday at a North Indian wild tiger sanctuary. Can you feel it in the air? We life in a different world now. Our lives will forever be divided into “Before Katy And Russell Got Married” and “After Katy And Russell Got Married.”
OK, maybe we all feel pretty much the same. But after the months of buildup, it feels like something supernatural should have happened. This is Katy Perry and Russell Brand we’re talking about here. We half expected them to tie the knot in an underground bunker with the reanimated body of Elvis doing the honors before riding off into the sunset on a latex-clad unicorn while a fleet of elephants trumpeted their favorite Morrissey song.
But it seems like it was slightly more low key than that. Or at least as low key as a wedding at a tiger preserve between two A-listers can get. Security was extremely tight and the press were not allowed access, but the newlyweds released a statement saying that a minister friend of Katy’s family performed “a very private and spiritual ceremony attended by the couples’ closest family and friends.” Despite rumors that Rihanna would act as the maid of honor, we hear she was unable to attend.
Both bride and groom reportedly wore traditional Indian attire, and Katy’s hands were decorated with customary henna art. Representatives at the site said that the venue was brightly decorated with colorful lanterns hung from trees, floral garlands and luxurious tents. Bizarrely, The Press Trust of India news agency is reporting that the wedding processional included 21 camels, horses and elephants, as well as a crew of Indian musicians and dancers. Pics or it didn’t happen, we say. Oh, and we guess Rihanna WAS there! And a minister didn’t marry them, but a Hindu priest chanting over a sacred fire. Then they rode off on a latex-clad unicorn.
And there you have it: few facts, and even fewer photos. As far as we know, Russell Brand and Katy Perry are just likable figments of our imagination. But we wish them the best.
[Photo: Getty Images]