Heidi Montag And Jason Biggs Spitball Ideas For The Next Twilight Knock-Off

Maybe after trying her hand at a musical career, an acting career and career consisting only of trying on bikinis and kissing in front of the paparazzi, Heidi Montag has finally found her calling in writing spooky teen romances. It can’t possibly hurt her career to try! Heidi Montag and Jason Biggs exchanged book ideas via Twitter today after Montag tweeted, “Thinking about writing a supernatural romance novel. Would you read?” to which Biggs replied “Holy s–t yes.” Not that we’d ever admit it to anyone, but our sentiments exactly.
The actor and the sort of actress got hot and heavy with their tweets, suggesting plenty of plot ideas, all of which sounded like real winners. “Heidi’s Romance Novel, Chapter 1: @biggsjason sits seductively on a tiger skin rug, wearing nothing but a yarmulke,” Montag triumphantly tweeted, finally concluding “So #HMRomNovel stars myself & @biggsjason. Need a good antagonist for the vampire KGB officer. Thinking @DannyPudi From Community.” As if the notion of a blood-sucking Russian official with Jason Bigg’s face isn’t enough to get the tweens swooning, Montag tweeted to Biggs, “Apparently @biggsjason is posing nude for the cover of my supernatural romance novel. Cross that one off my bucket list!” Wait a minute…just how did Heidi get a copy of our bucket list?
[Photo: Getty Images]

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Heidi Montag Regrets Plastic Surgeries, Blames Dead Doctor

With Heidi Montag’s marriage to Spencer Pratt renewed and no longer a news angle, everyone’s favorite Frankenstein is once more repenting for her cosmetic crimes. “I wouldn’t do it again,” she told Entertainment Tonight about the 10 surgical enhancements she enjoyed earlier this year. Heidi says she regrets her supermega-boobs (technical term) the most, ironic considering she scoured Europe to find someone willing to give her an even ampler bosom last May. “It’s impossible to work out with these boobs,” Heidi said between sobs in August.

As the dead can’t talk back, Heidi’s blaming her late enabler, Dr. Frank Ryan, whom she called “the most amazing person I have ever known…an angel” when he died in August (a week before she announced it was impossible to work out with those boobs), for her poor choices. “It was a lot harder than I was led on by my doctor…I didn’t know how excessive it really was.” Guess she still hasn’t forgive Ryan for taking the secrets of her giganta-gazangas (again, these are technical terms) with him on his ill-fated, tweet-tainted final drive.

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Heidi Montag’s New Music Video To Be A Hustler-Inspired Skank-O-Ganza

Are you worried that Heidi Montag’s new music video won’t be slutty enough? Well don’t worry, because she’s doing her research to ensure that it will be a skanky supernova! “Going to Hustler strip club, want to pick up some tips for my music video Ill do that I am shooting next week” our favorite bionic woman tweeted while in Las Vegas last Sunday.
After several months away from the spotlight, Heidi and professional mega-tool/husband Spencer Pratt surfaced this Halloween with the other terrifying creatures. In fact, the couple didn’t even feel the need to wear spooky costumes. Plastic surgery did the job just fine for Heidi, and Spencer is pretty scary as it is.
It seems like Heidi needs all the help she can get in order to launch her pop career off the ground. Her first album, Superficial, sold less than 700 copies in the first week of release. And we aren’t even sure how many of those were bought by Spencer. Maybe Heidi should cruise the strip for some singing tips after she hits up the Hustler Club. Cher’s still at Caesar’s Palace, right? Or at least she could catch an Elvis impersonator.

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